What’s love? They asked me…
I was shocked when they stopped me and asked me this. I didn’t know how to put in proper words what I have just thought
of, yearned for and never spoke of. How? I wondered.
They asked me once again thinking I might have felt
perplexed what love is or about the scientific reasons of love. I gave a slight
smile and closed and opened my eyes simultaneously thinking of those around me
of how ignorant they were of my deep lying desires and unexpressed thoughts.
How would they ever understand the feelings of one who has always been branded
as a nerd and avoided, isolated by all thinking the nerd would only think of
books and words and would never feel or have secrets or crushes?
What’s love, you spectacled idiot? They shouted: “Anyway you
might never know of it… let’s leave guys!”
But I raised my head and looked at their faces and spoke of
my feelings of love…
I said: “It’s like walking through a dark forest…” Oh! God how ridiculous? So pessimistic…you nerdy! They mocked me. But I continued : “It’s like walking through a dark forest, surrounded by ghostly trees, eerie sounds and continuous pits, making you fall in fright and rise with all strength, leaving you all shivering for help, nerves yearning for support and care, voices numbed in throat, eyes filled with tears and constant running….and then colliding with someone equally scared, cold and all shivering, eyes looking for shelter for his numb heart, nerves shouting for help, support and care, voices numbed in throat… coming from the other end of the dark forest equally dark and dreary.
Colliding, holding hands, tears welled up eyes
showering them at the sight of hope amidst the dark life… each giving the other
the warmth they needed… cooling their numbed hearts with the warmth of their
presence… they felt relieved they are no longer alone to face the dreary
present but they have someone equally cold to give warmth to them… someone to
hold on to and to share in their pain and fears.” I looked up …with tears in my
eyes I looked at them and said: That’s Love…. meeting someone equally in pain,
all cold and shivering amidst the dark world’s strifes and troubles, giving
each other warmth…
They were all still with shock. I could see that they might
have never thought might think seriously about such feelings. Their eyes too
welled up without them knowing…. How strange? They left me alone from then on…
even though they shouted and left me alone in the room that day… I knew they
were deeply hurt within by my exploded emotions... As it was just a
manifestation or to be frank an overflow of what all feel and hope for.
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